Lent--food for thought

So yesterday was ASH WEDNESDAY. When I picked Nico up from daycare we went straight to church to catch the 5:30 mass. I was really proud of myself because we made it on time, I was finally driving somewhere without a mini heart attack....and then NICO has the meltdown of the century. He kept saying "OUTSIDE", "NICO CASA", "no inside"...and was crying and throwing himself on the floor.


I tried calming him down, walking with him outside, showing him his cars, giving him a snack....NOTHING WORKED. I wanted to be the adult and stay but I also realized that giving attention to his tantrum wasn't gonna be good either. I decided to call it a day and head to the house. I hope my intentions counted for something. 


I tried to reflect on the drive home when Nico finally calmed down, on the phrase: 
ashes to ashes....(We come from dust; we return to dust.)


This reality made me think of a couple things:

• When we leave this place...we will return to ashes and won't be able to take anything with us---so what does that say about stressing out for the material things that surround us?!?! It's not really THAT worth it!
• We all should be more GRATEFUL (period). None of us DESERVE anyone to love us nor deserve a higher paying job, nor deserve to be promoted, nor deserve NO TRAFFIC, nor deserve (insert anything that you complain about that you think you are ENTITLED TO).........because everyday we have on this earth is a GIFT. Yes we are human and of course we WANT a whole bunch of things all the time....but (at least in my case) I've had the chance to step back a realize that if we are constantly making a list of things WE DESERVE...we'll be living a bitter life throwing ourselves one pitty party after another---because the feeling of LIFE'S unfairness will be TOO MUCH to handle...yet if we look at life as the GIFT it is, we maybe have the chance to put on those rose colored glasses. I know that I complain--but i'm sure there are more than a handful of people who would feel "lucky" is have the life that I live..Me included (most of the time). I'm definitely not saying that i'm going to stop complaining COMPLETELY about things (i'm no Mother Theresa)....but I'm going to try to remember this...as I prepare to throw my next pitty party, maybe these thoughts will allow me to POSTPONE it.
• I've heard people say it before: People won't remember what you did or what you said, they'll remember how you made them feel---very true, but so hard to remember. I saw a short snitbit of a TED TALK the other day about Comedy is Translation....but the speaker made a great point: Everyday we are translating, translating our thoughts into words, translating ideas from one form to another...and the reality is that sometimes things are lost along the way....either from our mind to our paper or from our hearts to our actions.....But the same way that translation is an ART that takes time, patience, and hard work.....so is the art of communication. In the end, we can't control what people hear when we speak or what people interpret when we act---all we can do is SPEAK as clearly as possible, and act as HONESTLY as we can.....so that our intentions come through.
• While on the INTENTIONS...I know that having good intentions ISN'T always enough like if you MEANT to call someone, or meant to be there for someone, or tried to meet up---and you don't. Bottom line is that you didn't actually do it....but in some cases (hopefully) like yesterday's mass attempt---intentions do count for something.
• Though we are constantly having to adapt and adjust to changes in and around our lives.....IN ONE MINUTE we can loose say/ lose control of our lives---and have to turn to God to help us get through those times. I wish I didn't wait till things are TOO HARD for me to handle to then TURN to God for help. I'm glad that GOD does know how to love (for real, without holding a grudge, without sticking it in my face and making me feel bad and saying some snarky remark like..."Ohhh, Noooooow you need my help eyy(God is may be Canadian)....that's what I thought!")....Instead He quietly gives me moments of peace, sends me reminders of the beautiful things in life, and sends me little signs here and there that let me know that He's not too busy saving the rest of the world to help me out.
• Last thought: my mom always says....God won't give you a cross you can't carry---AKA God will only give you things that He knows you can handle. I should be happy about how much faith he has in my abilities and that HE's confident that i'll be just fine. I can almost hear Montalvo (high school running coach I always talk about) say---"If you believe one tenth of one percent of what I believe in you, you'll amaze yourself!"...I wonder If God is saying..."He's just your coach, I'm GOD...if you believe one iota of 1 minuscule number, of what I BELIEVE IN YOU...You'll be IN AWE"...hahaha (Is it funny that i'm talking for God??...lol) I may be going nuts...disregard me.

On a side note:

Instead of GIVING UP things this lent...I'm going to TRY to do things for the next 39 days...

One of them is, Practice my Portuguese--EVERYDAY:

Para a Quaresma, quero praticar meu portugués todos os días. Eu acho que a melhor maneira  é tomar 10 minutos por dia para aprender uma frase nova, um verbo novo, ou algo assim, e então tente usar no dia seguinte também.

Have a great Lenten season!