How i've felt being pregnant...

This week, week 26 of the pregnancy, has been a one with lots of commotion and action. I'm not exactly sure what is going on in there right now, but what I do know is that I feel the baby's every move. Peter, myself, and some of his friends here have been able to see the action live.

My stomach moved up and down, side to side, and in random ways too. Right now, as if he knows I’m writing about him, he is moving all around. I can see the area right on top of my bellybutton going down and moving to (my) left.

I've been trying really hard in the last couple weeks to describe how if feels to be pregnant, since it is a common question. I find that only people who have had kids understand but since I'm surrounded mostly by people that have never had kids, the question comes up more commonly. Whats funny is that Peter's guy friend's too have asked me to describe it.
I don't think I’ve been able to come up with a great description but this is what I have so far:
At the beginning, I didn't think I felt much of anything (I didn't even know I was pregnant). In retrospect, I do remember feeling like I needed to go to the bathroom a lot but finding myself unable to. I thought it was due to the unwelcoming environment all the latrines that I visited in Panama. I had the opposite of what most people say they experience. Little were my cravings in the first couple months. I felt FULL most of the time. When I did “crave” or think about food, I was just wishing I could eat normal food that we have here in the US. One thing I do remember is getting lots of M&Ms in the first couple weeks and then not evening wanting to look at them a couple weeks later.

After finding out, I started to feel subtle movements in my stomach that I didn't know if to attribute to the baby or to just thinking that that is was the baby since I had just found out.
Shortly after the movements became more clear. Most of them however, other people couldn't feel when they placed their hand on my stomach because they would just miss it.

Now, however the movements are so strong that you can see them through my shirt. I have never felt anything that feels like this before. It reminds me a lot of when I would take my dog in Panama, Princess, into town. I would usually carry her in a purse/bag of some sort so that she wouldn’t bother people on the bus. She would move around, stretch, and reposition herself the entire hour and some ride into town. Through the side of the bag, you could see all those movements. The baby inside me is doing the same thing now… I get nervous sometimes because of all the movements. I don’t really know what’s normal and what’s not. Most articles I read say that strong movements and active babies are a sign of a healthy baby.

Another aspect of being pregnant is the “gaining weight” part. When I arrived in Panama, I weighed 127. At 18 weeks of pregnancy I weighed 132. At 25 weeks of pregnancy I weighed 142. The extra weight I’ve been gaining has started to take a toll on me. I feel some back aches and my feet to get really heavy and tired often. There have been a couple days where I feel my quads tingling. Understandably so, I’m carrying weight they have never dealt with before and in such short amount of time, that they haven’t had time to catch up or adjust.

This rapid gain in weight makes it a little difficult to have cravings. Let me explain. I’m exercising and eating healthy for both my health and the baby’s and to top it off, I’m feeling heavier and heavier. Though I remind myself that it is the baby growing inside, the amniotic fluid, and hopefully the breast milk, it is still difficult to indulge in cakes, cupcakes, cookies, candy and such. Not to mention that I can barley finish meals like I used to be able to. After dinner, there is barely any room for water to wash it down, let alone space for dessert. Most people say to TAKE ADVANTAGE of this time that I’m ALLOWED to be Fat…but I don’t see it that way. In the end, I’m only making it more difficult for myself after the baby is born, and for what…for a pie?Now don’t get me wrong, I do like snacking on things and the Ice Cream with crushed Oreos that I had the other night was simply OUT OF THIS WORLD.

What I am trying to explain is that I think that cravings might be a mental thing more than anything. I think it’s the body craving a “feel good” sensation since it is having trouble feeling good in clothing that USED to fit, during workouts that USED to be easy, normal daily activities that USED to be simple. The emotional toll of cooping with all the changes (whether you are prepared for this journey or it caught you by surprise) can make any woman seem like a nut case. I remember in Panama I would find myself crying one second and laughing the very next. I would think to myself, I’m acting crazy with these instantaneous mood swings… “I’m acting like a pregnant woman”. The other day, I found myself at the cafeteria of National Instruments (where Peter works) in TEARS because Peter commented about me wanting a 2nd breakfast, when I went to get a Bagel. He then said he was kidding and asked me if I wanted, I should go get it. I was hungry AGAIN, even though I had eaten breakfast 2 hours ago at the apartment. I know he was doing it to help me, so that I don’t get upset later that I gained too much extra weight, but still…I was HUNGRY. In that cafeteria, I was mad, then sad, and then confused….all in a matter of 15 minutes.

In summary, though I feel as if I have been pretty fortunate to say that the sign and symptoms of pregnancy that aggravate and haunt most women’s pregnancies have been pretty light, I still feel them to some degree. I will keep trying to work on finding the words to describe “How it feels to be pregnant”. In the meantime, I hope this has given you a little better idea of How I’ve felt being pregnant...